CHOOSING THE ULTIMATE CAREER---MOTHERHOOD

by: Norberto Betita

If we will have to search all the Year Books of high school graduations, there never could be found even one young woman graduate who have a written ambition to be a mother or a full time mother for that matter. All dreams and visions for the future are focused towards a professional career touchdown and staying aground for added career growth and development. Only when one catches the paramount import and significance of the greatest potential influence of a mother in raising, rearing and nurturing children that she becomes willing to disembark and shift to the holy and consecrated calling of motherhood.

To be a career woman was simply the high school ambition of SNNHS ‘69er JOCELYN BALUTAN. That’s everybody’s childhood dream. Never did she ever have the feeling that she would one day be a full-time wife and mother. She’s remembered to be a chatty and talky type of a girl. That’s her advantage for winning more friends at school. Every girl and boy in high school needs a friend or group wherein to associate. And, Jocelyn has that ability of a cluster planner and organizer. This was an apparent virtue in her.

As she disembarked from high school, little was known about her academic journey. She is so private and reserved about it. However, it was known that while enroute to finding career possibilities in Manila, she met a man who offered to exchange vows with her in a sacred bond of matrimony, and each promised to live together for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, and perhaps for time and eternity. Such a handsome man gave her the name of Jocelyn Balutan Dedumo. To him she is preeminent and to her he is worth her boundless love. Together they pledge to provide their children the same preeminence and paramount attention. Their marital dreams are far from being extraordinary. Their plans were simple. He promised to perform the duty of a husband and provider. She covenanted to be a wife, mother and homemaker. They understood that the Lord’s command to “multiply and replenish the earth” was not only intended for them. So they planned to only have two children making sure that they will be provided of their needs and will have enough best times from both the father and mother in their growing years.


What a joy it was for both spouses to learn that she conceived and was to bear a twin. So much care and considerable attention was provided to make certain her conception is safe. However, all their early wonderful and overpowering anticipations of happiness were thwarted and crossed by a harrowing and untimely tragedy. Her pregnancy underwent a threatened abortion and eventually the twins were delivered prematurely, one was stillborn while the other was struggling between life and death. To both spouses the loss was truly a devastating experience and was even more painful to the mother. But she had to be ever strong to care for her little daughter who was under a life threatening condition. The child must have felt the awakening spirit of a very loving mother as to be sustained and finally survived. Joy and happiness once again bloomed and blossomed as the very precious daughter was saved and was given an extended gleaming life. Such throbbing moments of heartrending tragedy made her more resilient to face the battles against adversity.

When they went on board the realms of family life they both committed to be true to their promise to do their specific parental responsibilities. Her husband has to go abroad as an overseas contract worker to be able to earn more in preparation for the coming responsibilities to provide. At first it was easy with one child, but as another child was born  and the two started to enjoy their childhood, she begun to realize the weight of her responsibility as a parent, especially as she performed both the role of a mother and part of the father. In her daily experiences of witnessing her two children clashing and arguing, she must have felt like Winnie Dally who wrote:

“.....Nearby in the kitchen, a mound of dirty dishes waits for me in the sink. The laundry is not done, …the bathroom not scrubbed. Toys are strewn haphazardly all over the living room and kitchen floor. A pile of unpaid bills sits arrogantly on top of the bookcase, exerting silent authority. All of a sudden, the negative aspects of the moment seem to outweigh the positive.

“But it is really not so. I remind myself that I need to look beyond the temporal mists and regain my eternal vision of clarity. A house does not have to be perfect to be a home of joy, a child does not have to behave perfectly to love and be loved, and every moment of life does not have to be perfect to be of value. Too often, I realize, we fail to see the glorious reality of the simple joy that abounds in the seemingly mundane routine of day-to-day living.

“There is perhaps nothing more delightful than the sound of a little child's laugh, nothing more earnest than a little child's inquiry for knowledge, nothing more genuine than a little child's hug, nothing more pure than a little child's love, and nothing more sacred than a little child's trust. “Motherhood is not a burden to be borne; it is a privilege to be enjoyed. It is not a trial of endurance; it is a time of celebration!” (Seize the Joy, Ensign March 1998).

Life in the Metropolis is quiet difficult, and with her son's asthmatic tendencies she decided to go back home in Surigao City for a better and more satisfying environment for her children. Here she finds her best opportunities to perform her divinely appointed role. She conditioned herself to be ever ready and prepared to occupy the grand and glorious station of “homemaker” which C. S. Lewis described as “the ultimate career” upon which “all other careers exist for one purpose only---to support the ultimate career.” She took the humble roles of a nurse; a teacher; a driver and school guide; a cook; a nurturer; a counselor; a motivator; a church guide; a laundry woman; a reprover; a lover; etc. Then in all these she envisioned to hear from her children the same endearing words of George Washington as regards her mother: "My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her." Hence, she is determined to rear and raise righteous children and a happy family.

When her husband comes home she makes it a point to be always by his side as a wife supplementing the long lost time of being away from each other. While he also made sure that his vacation times are well spent to complement and fill out the emptiness borne by his children during those austere and lonely months of his absence. These moments of joy are broken each time the father leaves home for another cruise. However, these sacrifices allowed them to build a humble shelter and a secure vault for their priceless treasures---their children---away from the dangers of worldly influences. 

Enduring such an everlasting trust, she eventually found the joy and gladness that attends with motherhood. Her children had grown righteous and with best perspective. Her greatest achievement as a woman in the home which provided her with ecstasy and exultation was when her daughter, who once was drifting between threats of life and death,
graduated Cum Laude from a university in Manila. Then she kind of heard her daughter say, "In all my efforts to learn to read, my mother shared fully my ambition and sympathized with me and aided me in every way she could. If I have done anything in life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother." (Booker T. Washington).

Now that the children are grown, she finds time for her own. Yet instead of just wasting her hours in luxurious vacations she desired to utilize her earlier high school abilities of a cluster planner and organizer for service in the community. She ran for an elective barangay position of a councilor and won. She is now serving her second term. She understood that service is a crowning principle.
               
And when all is said and done, she goes back to her earlier choice of his ultimate career and continues to be motivated by the words of David O. McKay: "The noblest calling in the world is that of mother. True motherhood is the most beautiful of all arts, the greatest of all professions. She who can paint a masterpiece or who can write a book that will influence millions deserves the plaudits and admiration of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters whose immortal souls will be exerting an influence throughout the ages long after paintings shall have faded, and books and statues shall have been destroyed, deserves the highest honor that man can give."

She now resides at their family home in Surigao City. She’s been a regular participant in high school reunions. She is sure to be in our SNNHS ‘69ers golden jubilee reunions in 2019.