WHEN MY RUBBER SLIPPER BROKE

by: Norberto Betita

Adversity is the lot I am wont to swim. From infancy to seniority fate consigned me into the consistent waves of hard times and misfortunes. Twice my life was almost claimed by afflictions of enormity and terrible nature. My childhood and youthful journey was encircled by valleys of despairs and deep rivers of sorrows to cross, and high mountains to climb. But the providential hand of God and the majesty of His mercy and love allowed me to see the conceptual beautiful rainbow after the summer rain that bridged through the valleys and rivers, and crafted a handrail to the mountains’ summit, whereupon I saw the magnificent view of life and its attendant beauty and splendour.

I entered high school under conditions of great difficulty after our home was totally destroyed by typhoon Louise. I should not have enrolled at the Surigao High School should I have given in to the consistent invitation of a priest for me to enter Catholic Seminary. He’s been our commencement speaker during elementary graduation and must have been attracted at my oratory as I performed my lead role of young graduate in our graduation pageant. But for three times I declined for reasons I could not even comprehend as a young boy.

As an SNNHS ‘69er I am devoid of popularity. I am just a young boy from a rural town where only two old Jeepneys are available for transportation. The 9th of the thirteen children in the family of a carpenter father and fish vendor/dressmaker mother, I am bereft of school gears as to be ready for the intellectual battle. Yet I was reported on top of the mental ability test conducted to all first year students of which I was given a professional size basketball as an award from my elder brother proud of my initial accomplishment. However, prevailing undesirable circumstances had in no way allowed me to compete, but I am grateful that I had maintained a pew in the elite group of students. I am accepted as a friend by my prominent classmates because of my sober characteristic and temperate personality. Notebooks are far from being affordable. At school I carried stapled scratch bond papers as substitute notepad. On my third year in high school I contracted typhoid fever. For one and a half months I was off from school, and just at home daily suffering the debilitating and head breaking affliction without the benefit of hospitalization. Once while alone weak and very pale I collapsed, for how many hours I was uncertain but I was awakened and surprised to be lying on top of our dining table. I was kind of resurrected. Such incapacitating illness was feared to damage the brain yet I was very fortunate that only my hairs were lost but my brain was preserved. I was lucky to have been accepted back to school after recovery.

Proms which most of my classmates are so excited about were never a delight for me. I was in the hall as a waiter for snacks instead of a participant. I was happy I was on the list of the graduating students but never have the elation and the thrill of joining a graduation march. I passed the qualifying examinations conducted by the Mindanao State University and was awarded a full scholarship for its first batch of an Agricultural Engineering course in the university. But my parents could hardly even afford a trip with two of my elder sister in college and one younger brother in high school plus the fact that they were discouraged by my cousin who is in the military assigned in Iligan and Marawi Area where there was a continuing cultural conflict.

Therefore, I carried the same weight of deprivations from high school through college. My personal ambition to become a civil engineer was shifted to a course in commerce. However, despite the depressing and miserable verity and mediocrity of a college student going to school with rubber slippers and with only one blue jean to wear for the whole week, I made good in all my subjects. But adversity did find its way to cross and drag me out of my lonely trail. While joining the throng of students after school my rubber slipper broke. Admittedly, I felt ashamed as I walked limping toward home. I seemed to have lost my self-worth, dignity and honor as a young man. It became my crossroad and decision point. I swore no longer to go back to college and surrender my academic race. I did not even bother to officially drop my subjects, which until now remained a part of my official transcript of records. 

I was nineteen then and not yet employable. Yet I tried and was eventually employed as a security guard. My English proficiency got me easily promoted as security investigator with a salary higher than the prevailing wages of public school teachers. I became very satisfied. College was no longer in my mind. I married at an early age of 21. With a beautiful and very endearing wife and a glowing two year old daughter I felt exquisite joy. However, as I envisioned the future of my lovely daughter and my future children, I was reawakened by the memory of that broken rubber slipper. In my mind came the many “what ifs”. My first thought was what if I remained a security guard and my future income will no longer be sufficient to provide for the needs of a growing family? Should I ever allow my children to go to school without the necessary gears, without shoes, without clothes for proms and graduations? Should I ever allow my children to go to college with a rubber slipper and a single blue jean? And, so repeat all the deprivations that I experienced during my childhood and youthful life.

Then the same disheartening and dismal incident of the broken rubber slipper which dragged me down and out of college became a remarkable and stimulating influence which hauled and tugged me back into the path of my academic journey. I found a security job in a government entity with a salary very much lower than my previous employment. I went back to college as a working student at the Northeastern Mindanao Colleges. With the most able backing and help of my wife I eventually graduated with a degree in Banking and Finance in 1979, exactly ten years from high school graduation. Together with my college diploma I also earned two civil service eligibilities which qualified me for a secured permanent government position and job promotion. But before this could have been implemented a grueling test of my integrity was placed before the hallowed table of moral agency. I was made to sign a reimbursement voucher which I am certain the expenses were not utilized for official government purposes. I vehemently declined and my stand for honesty eventually cost me my job and caused sufferings to my family.

As I reflect today of that experience, I felt like the youthful ‘Ling’ who feared to show his empty pot afraid of being killed by the Emperor. But his honesty of not substituting a boiled seed gave him the honor to be the next emperor (story, The Emperor’s Seed). I also felt like General Maximus, the Gladiator, who simply wants to get home from the war and resume life with his family on his farm. His integrity cost him his family. But by request of the Emperor Marcus Aurelius he saved and restored power to the people from the tyrant Commodius. Maximus cried to his troops, “What we do in this life leaves echoes in eternity. “ (Gladiator, the movie).

I thanked God that I have not given in, but the cost was so awful as to have me burn my skin under the heat of the summer sun from sunrise to sunset cultivating a vegetable garden in a two hundred square meter lot if only to be able to provide milk for my nursing children and scanty meals for the family. Providence gave way to the Lord’s timing; I was eventually employed by the Philippine National Bank (PNB) at the very moment when I was on the verge of disqualification from age requirement of 30 years old. This humble employment made me sure all my family’s needs will be provided. I tried to dream for advancement and desired to study law, but opportunity did not give place when the planned law school was postponed. With a goal demanded by the PNB management I set off for a graduate course and eventually earned a Master in Business Administration. My goals did become a link that connects my work with my accomplishment. I was appointed as an officer of the bank.

Gone were the anxieties about not being able to provide for my children’s needs. Forgotten were the earlier effects of the broken rubber slipper in my life, yet the wisdom and inspiration that it provided long remained written in the tablet of the heart. My children wore no rubber slippers at school but affordable shoes. They have complete gears for their intellectual battles so medals and ribbons hang on their necks and uniforms. They were at their best in proms and graduations. Four of them have tasted being schooled in the premiere university---The University of the Philippines, although two of them resigned for a very reasonable priority. Of the two that endured, the youngest graduated Cum Laude. All five graduated with college degrees. What can I ask for?

Along my wonderful career path, however, there lies in permanent company my common lot---adversity. It followed me until my retirement and even until this end. I tried to engage in business at retirement, but I was betrayed and was resigned back to my foreordained fate. Thus, I plead, as David did, “Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast. (Psalm 57:1)

Through the years I have come to understand that God did not provide us with an easy mine of gold and silver or a comfortable imperial avenue along our journey’s thoroughfare. Instead he planted thorns and thistles to decorate our way and make our walk more enjoyable and fascinating. Then he designed a beautiful rainbow to remind us that in whatever calamities we might be in He is just bended knees away. In time I have come to understand why I declined to be a Priest. I was foreordained to hold the Holy Priesthood of a living God.

I should have written my story last for our golden book of remembrance. But I found that others of our friends and classmates are hesitant to share their inspiring stories. No matter how great our failures; no matter how insignificant our accomplishments; we have a story to tell that will inspire the coming generations of youth who may come and find shelter under the academic shades of our dear Alma Mater---the Surigao del Norte National High School and even more for our posterity.